INBOX // ROUTE 666

[purplexing]

You're conversing with Donatello-

Juuuust not this exact second. Please rank your call by number of priority and I'll get back to you accordingly.

1 - A technical emergency

2 - General inquiry

3 - Miscellaneous

Comments

[purplexing]

[YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

But he would agree if he knew how long it's been since Edward was able to enjoy a good book! The horror!!]

That sounds nice. Glad you've found some peace and quiet to do it.

Okay, it's all set. Do you want to sit in Raph's chair or either of these?

[propatriamori]

Oh, I'll take one of the smaller chairs. Your Raph is so much bigger than I am, I feel like a child when I'm in his chair.

[Edward is closer in size to the twins, although he has to shift his legs to the side to fit them in.]

Do I simply read aloud, then?

[purplexing]

[Donnie chuckles.]

Raph's always been huge. Had to make sure his seat would accommodate him and his shell.

[He pulls out his phone, pausing a moment before he switches it over to camera mode to snap a quick picture. He...hasn't taken too many pics in this world. Most of them are of Leo in embarrassing moments. But he wants something to remember everyone by, if he could.]

Yeah, it should pick up just fine. Let me just...

[...switch his phone over to audio recording as backup...]

If you need a break, just uh... pack-ping me and I'll pause the recording.

[propatriamori]

[Edward hasn't heard a phone camera going off enough times to realise what Donnie has just done. Even if he had, he wouldn't have minded. If anything, he'd be touched to know that Donnie chose to take his picture.]

Thank you.

[Edward takes a couple of breaths, then starts to read in a clear, smooth voice. For someone who is just learning Braille, his tone is surprisingly confident.]

[purplexing]

[He'll probably ask later for a proper one.

While Edward psyches himself up to read, Donnie clambers into the other chair, pulling his knees in as he makes himself comfortable.

Story time..! But really, how long has it been since he'd heard anyone read a story that wasn't an audio book? Dad had fallen out of that practice pretty quickly, save for the occasions he believed he was reading to his pet goldfish.]

[propatriamori]

[Edward is aware that Donnie is listening as he reads, and he likes that. He's always liked reading for other people, and would usually volunteer to recite when he was in university, or read letters from home aloud to soldiers who were less literate. Being able to do so again is like slipping into an old, comfortable pullover, and he settles right in.]

[He also, for the record, does different voices for the different animals. These American farm animals sound very proper and British in this rendition of the story.]

[purplexing]

[Donnie does his best to keep quiet, but like as Edward can sense those vibrations from his silent chuckles. He's delighted by the effort to give each character their own voice.]

[propatriamori]

[Oh no, that silent laughter sends bright, cheerful ripples through the vibrations, and it only encourages Edward. He begins to assign voices from the convoy to the various animals in the book. Wilbur starts to sound like Mikey; the older, stand-offish ram gets Arcade's voice; Fern's uncle sounds like Danse; when they get to Charlotte, she'll sound like Root.]

[purplexing]

[There's a gleeful warmth that brushes through the swarm/pack link. Donnie has to clap a hand over his mouth once he starts realizing that some of these intonations are starting to sound a bit familiar, shoulders shaking with his snickers.

He leans forward some, eager to see who all else ends up cameoing. It's like a fun little game.]

[propatriamori]

[Donnie, no, the recording will pick up you laughing!]

[Nah, it's fine, Edward has full confidence Donnie will be able to edit out his own snickers. He sends a cheerful warmth back through the pack link, and as more characters are introduced in the story, more convoy voices appear. Templeton sounds like Alastor; Deacon's voice gets assigned to Lurvy the handyman. The Goose, despite being a lady goose, takes on Leo's vocal inflections, and Fern herself has vocal patterns like Donnie's. Avery, Fern's brother, sounds like Kavinsky.]

[purplexing]

[He's holding it in! Barely!! Okay no, there's is definitely at least a few wheezes he'll have to fix. Or not.

The goose nearly does him in, and he has to bury his face against his knees to stifle his laugh.

He can't even deny that he'd been curious if he'd be assigned a role in the story, and of course he has to be a bit critical about it, but in the end he's grinning, deciding it passable enough.]

[propatriamori]

[The book doesn't have a particularly large cast, so not everyone in the convoy gets their voice added in. Edward thinks assigning Fern to Donnie isn't a bad choice: she's smart and compassionate, and stands by what she believes, even when the adults don't agree with her. That seems like good casting to him.]

[He gets about halfway through the story before his voice gets tired, and he sends a message through the pack link.]

[That's about all I have for tonight. Can you stop it here, and we'll finish tomorrow?]

[purplexing]

[Donnie lifts his head at that, pausing to glance at the time before he reaches for his phone first. He'd really gotten caught up in the story!]

Oh yeah, no problem.

[He gets up, holding back a groan as he unfolds from the chair. Then he goes to turn off the recording equipment.]

All right, Ed, we're off the air.

[propatriamori]

[Edward waits in silence until Donnie gets everything situated, then collapses back into the chair with a sigh.]

That's fun, but more tiring than I thought it would be.

Are you enjoying the story?

[purplexing]

[The turtle walks towards the back to grab one a couple of water bottles for them.]

Oh, I'll bet. You've been going quite a while after all. I am pretty sure audio books aren't recorded in one sitting because there's one for the Bible and that one's at least three days worth of listening alone.

[He taps Edward's arm with the bottle to hand over before he drops back into his own seat with his own.]

I am, actually! Talking animals are entertaining, who knew!

[propatriamori]

Thank you.

[Edward takes the offered water bottle and drains half of it in one long pull.]

I have to admit, Charlotte writing messages in her web took me by surprise. I had no idea that was a theme with intelligent spiders.

[purplexing]

Heh! Well, Charlotte does seem the unusually erudite spider. Much nicer than the spider I know back home, too. But don't worry Ed, you're still top spider on my list. Albeit it is a very short list, but you know.

[propatriamori]

Let me imagine...

[Edward holds up one hand and moves it down as he lists names.]

Myself, Charlotte, your father's ex-girlfriend. Would that be your spider ranking?

[purplexing]

[Donnie almost chokes on his water, coughing a laugh.]

Got it in one, but come on, it wasn't that difficult to figure out.

[He forgets how much he's mentioned of Big Mama to Edward, but he suspects Leo would have filled in the details, given the chance.]

[propatriamori]

[Edward laughs too, pleased by Donnie's reaction.]

I honestly don't know anything about her, beyond her being your father's ex-girlfriend. Leo was very clear on the ex part.

[purplexing]

[Donnie chuckles.]

Well...it wasn't exactly the greatest relationship. I mean, even before we found out that they had History, my brothers and I came across her in her big fancy yōkai hotel that she runs. And found out her side hustle running the Battle Nexus- basically a coliseum style fight arena where they watch the fiercest yōkai fight.

She is very much a business woman first and foremost, but she's not one you want to cross.

[propatriamori]

[How much of this did Edward already know? Let's just say Leo already explained the yokai thing to him, but not the Battle Nexus.]

Was the Battle Nexus... voluntary?

[He is picturing the Roman Colosseum.]

[purplexing]

Sometimes...? But not always, and I'm sure, given her way of making deals, she's also cornered people into taking part. Dad she just straight-up kidnapped, I think.

[propatriamori]

[Edward thinks on that for a moment, then reaches out and pats the back of Donnie's hand.]

I can understand why she's a former girlfriend, then.

[purplexing]

[Donnie laughs.]

Yeah, well... I think even despite the toxic relationship, they still had some feelings for each other. And Big Mama did help us when we needed to find and rescue Papá.