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[purplexing]

You're conversing with Donatello-

Juuuust not this exact second. Please rank your call by number of priority and I'll get back to you accordingly.

1 - A technical emergency

2 - General inquiry

3 - Miscellaneous

Comments

text; un: Accelerator

[levelshift]

[So the only people who know where Accelerator is living are the Society, since they provided him the apartment, and Lofty Heights, since an address was required for registration. He hasn't bothered to tell anyone else, he barely knows anyone in this world despite being here for months, so it's never come up.

So why is there a cactus sitting on the kitchen table when he comes home from work one day?

His first assumption is that it's a threat, but if it is it's a really dumb one. Besides, his apartment hasn't been trashed like it would've been back home. The only thing out of place is the cactus.

Then it hits him. Honestly, it should've been his first guess. Exasperatedly, he messages Donnie.]

2

Did you seriously fucking follow me home to find my address one day, then break in when I was out and leave me a goddamn plant?

[purplexing]

Sounds like you figured it all out so are you still expecting an answer or was that rhetorical?





Also, you're welcome.

[levelshift]

Looking for confirmation that my assumption is right.

[Which... Great. He was right on the money.]

What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?

[purplexing]

[So now what're you gonna do about it, 'celly?]

Oh, glad you asked. Although that just tells me that you haven't moved it and so have not noticed the directions I wrote and left underneath the pot. Still, I will be happy to enlighten you.

Firstly, cactus of the Mammillaria family are, as with most cacti, a hardy specimen so minimal care is required.

It does require at least 4 hours of sunlight so unless you live like a bat, please leave it in a spot near a window where it can be appeased.

Watering does not have to be frequent, even less so in the winter, only when the dirt is dry. Once every two weeks should suffice.

[levelshift]

[................................................]

That wasn't what I meant. Come pick the damn thing up. It's yours, not mine.

[Even though he's lifting the pot up (which is exactly his aesthetic with the black and white and line design, goddamnit Donnie) to find the instructions underneath.]

[purplexing]

[Handwritten, even!]

It's not mine, it's in your apartment. Therefore ownership has transferred.

[levelshift]

[Wow this is really thoughtful. What the fuck.]

That isn't how it works, dumbass!

[purplexing]

Sure it is. Consider it reverse thievery.

[levelshift]

Reverse thievery is just giving someone a gift!

[purplexing]

[Someone is cracking up over here. He can just imagine the exasperation in that response.]

Noted.

[levelshift]

[He's so mad about this, and about Donnie being so casual about it. Stop being so chill about giving him things!!!]

I'm going to throw the damn thing out the window, you asshole.

[He will not.]

[purplexing]

GASP what did that cactus ever do to you!

[levelshift]

Exist. That's more than enough reason.

[purplexing]

Harsh.

[This just makes him wonder what else he can get away with sneaking in and leaving at the esper's apartment.]

[levelshift]

[Accelerator is doomed.]

I'm a goddamned villain, what do you expect.

[purplexing]

More mood lighting for one thing.

[levelshift]

[.............................]

Fuck you.

[There are no words. NO WORDS.]

[purplexing]

😘

[levelshift]

[LEAVING YOU ON READ, GOOD SIR.

And going to go put that dumb cactus in front of a window. Grumble grumble.]